“I want to quit smoking because my doctor told me. It will kill me.” Sammie continued: “I had my appendix removed couple years ago. Now my doctor is scheduling a surgery to remove my gall bladder.” I laughed and teased her: “If you don’t stop smoking, they will remove one organ after another one?” She laughed too: ” I also have knee problem, anger problem …”

Most women with emotion issues have to deal with over-weight as well. But Sammie looked good in her 50’s. “Have you ever stopped smoking?” I was curious. She said: “Yes, twice. Soon as I knew I was pregnant, I stopped for my 1st and 2nd babies.”

“Then what happened? Do you know why you re-start?” I asked. Sammie said: “The relationship with my ex was too stressful. He was drunk, on drug. It was too much to take care of my babies and him at the same time.” She continued: “I also stopped for 6 months when I had my appendix removed.”

“And then?” She answered: “Job! Stress from job. I worked at a retail store. The new woman boss was very difficult. She did not like me. She fired almost everyone, including me.” I nodded my head: “When did you get the first cigarette after you stopped for 6 months?” “Soon as I got back to work. And I smoked more when they changed my boss.”

Sammie is now smoking 2 to 2& 1/2 packs a day, first thing to do in the morning and last thing to do before go to bed. “When did you start smoking?” I asked. “11. I was living with my grandparents. My grandma was a smoker, so I simply helped myself.” “Was your grandma aware of this?” I asked. She shrugged: “One day, she told me to stop. She said I know how many are in there. So I went out to smoke with my friends and they helped me buy some.”

“Do you enjoy smoking?” I asked. Sammie responded quickly: “NO! It is nasty. It tastes terrible. It smells nasty. I don’t smoke inside. I only go outside to smoke.” It was so obvious that Sammie was using smoking to deal with her stress at workplace and with her ex. She still carried the anger because: {I placed restrain order against him. He was on drug. My kids were taken to foster family, then sent to his folk’s house. I became homeless for 6 months because he lost our home ….}

Well, we had many stressors here to take care of. First, I had to help her forgive her ex, but not forget. Second, I had to help her to rebuild her self confidence and see the hope at her work place. Third, I had to help her to cope with the withdraw from nicotine. Of which she would ask her doctor to order some anti-nicotine patches for her.

She was a part-time waitress at a casino. She agreed to go to the card-dealer school as her current boss recommended. I also reminded her that she looked good for her age and she should have no problem to meet a nice guy once she feels fully confident about herself, as a non-smoker.

A week later, she called me that she did not need to remove her gall bladder. Her doctor would use alternative way to take care of it.

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